Enmeshment
Enmeshment is a concept in psychology and psychotherapy introduced by Salvador Minuchin (1921–2017) to describe families where personal boundaries are diffused, sub-systems undifferentiated, and over-concern for others leads to a loss of autonomous development.[1] Enmeshed in parental needs, trapped in a discrepant role function,[2] a child may lose their capacity for self-direction;[3] their own distinctiveness, under the weight of "psychic incest";[4] and, if family pressures increase, may end up becoming the identified patient or family scapegoat.[5]
Enmeshment was also used by John Bradshaw to describe a state of cross-generational bonding within a family, whereby a child (normally of the opposite sex) becomes a surrogate spouse for their mother or father.[6]
The term is sometimes applied to engulfing codependent relationships,[7] where an unhealthy symbiosis is in existence.[8]
For the toxically enmeshed child, the adult's carried feelings may be the only ones they know, outweighing and eclipsing their own.[9]
Remedies[]
Clarifying boundaries, putting the generations in separate compartments,[10] and finding a better balance between involvement and separation,[11] are all useful remedies.
At the same time, it is important that the therapist avoids becoming enmeshed in the family subsystems themselves[12]—the unconscious enmeshment of helping therapist/needy client.[13]
See also[]
- Atlas personality
- Co-rumination
- Covert incest
- Cross-generational sexual relationships
- Double bind
- Dysfunctional family
- Family nexus
- Folie à deux
- Harold Searles
- Parentification
- Stockholm syndrome
- Structural family therapy
References[]
- ^ H. & L. Goldberg, Family Therapy: An Overview (2008) pp. 244, 467.
- ^ Virginia Satir, Peoplemaking (1983) p. 167
- ^ R. C. Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Therapy (1997) p. 162
- ^ Robert Bly, Iron John (1991) pp. 170, 185–7.
- ^ Goldberg, p. 239
- ^ John Bradshaw, Reclaiming Virtue (2009) p. 390
- ^ Bradshaw, p. 272
- ^ R. Abell, Own Your Own Life (1977) pp. 119–22
- ^ Terence Real, I Don't Want to Talk About It (1997) pp. 206, 360.
- ^ R. Skynner/J. Cleese, Families and how to survive them (1993) pp. 93, 213.
- ^ Goldenberg, p. 410
- ^ Skynner, p. 93
- ^ D. Sedgwick, Jung and Searles (1993) p. 113
Further reading[]
- Robin Skynner, One Flesh, Separate Persons (London 1976)
External links[]
- Psychological concepts
- Family therapy
- Interpersonal communication