Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders

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Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders
Region 2 DVD cover
Directed by	Howard Ziehm
Written by	Howard Ziehm Doug Frisby
Produced by	Maurice Smith Gary Melius Joseph Garofalo Joe Allegro
Starring	Vince Murdocco Robyn Kelly Tony Travis William Dennis Hunt Morgan Fox Bruce Scott Maureen Webb
Cinematography	Danny Nowak
Edited by	Joe Tomatore
Music by	Paul Zaza
Distributed by	New Horizons
Release date	January 30, 1990 (1990-01-30)
Running time	98 minutes (cut) 102 minutes (uncut)
Country	Canada
Language	English
Budget	$1.5 million
Box office	$1.3 million

Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders (aka Flesh Gordon 2: Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders) is a 1990 sex comedy film, and the sequel to the sex comedy Flesh Gordon. Like the original, it spoofs the Flash Gordon serials, though the humor is more scatological than the original. Only William Dennis Hunt returns from the original cast.

Plot[]

On Earth, Flesh is being filmed for an erotic science-fiction film. After a mishap occurs on set, the director fires the whole crew. Flesh is then knocked over by Dale, Flesh's fiancé, after he leaves the film studio. Dale checks to see if Flesh is okay, before an ambulance arrives. A trio of space cheerleaders emerge from the vehicle, before they take off with Flesh in their rocket to space. Dale races to Doctor Flexi Jerkoff at his laboratory, and informs him about Flesh's kidnapping. Jerkoff instantly recognises where the cheerleaders are from, and he and Dale take off in his spaceship. The cheerleaders arrive on their planet with Flesh, and introduce Flesh to their leader. Robunda Hooters, the girls’ leader, tells Flesh that the planet's men have been infected by Evil Presence's “Impotence Radiation”. The girls explain why they took Flesh, believing he is the possessor of “The Virile Force”, and believe he alone can stop the ray. Evil Presence soon learns this from Master Bator, Presence's equally-deviant assistant. Presence plans to kidnap Flesh, replace his penis with Flesh's, and to become the only virile man in the universe.

Back on Jerkoff's ship, Dale and Jerkoff feel the effects of the radiation. The ship's power reduces, and Dale and Jerkoff land on the planet of the cheerleaders. Dale and Jerkoff recognise the rocket Flesh was captured in, and continue searching for Flesh. Dale and Jerkoff spot a college, “Cosmic High”, and explore the campus. A student reveals the whereabouts of the cheerleaders, and informs the two the reason for the radiation in the atmosphere, before Jerkoff and Dale finds Flesh with them. Dale is devastated to discover Flesh supposedly cheating on her, because Flesh was seduced by the cheerleaders into a prolonged orgy with them. Evil Presence and his crew invade, before freezing and kidnapping Dale. Flesh and Jerkoff race to Dale's rescue, and leave the cheerleaders in hot pursuit. Presence and his crew return to the Ice Palace with Dale, and Presence keeps Dale as bait for Flesh.

Flesh and Jerkoff escape in Jerkoff's ship. The cheerleaders get into their rocket, and chase Flesh across the galaxy, but Jerkoff distracts them. Flesh manages to keep the ship running, but the ship's power soon drains. Flesh and Jerkoff crash-land onto a strange planet surrounded by hills, which Jerkoff states are “The Mammary Mountains” (a group of giant lactating breast-shaped mounds, overdosed with silicon, which once belonged to an intergalactic tribe of Amazons). Jerkoff insists that he and Flesh stay for a while, as he becomes obsessed by the breast-like relics, but Flesh insists that they rescue Dale. Flesh and Jerkoff are then shocked to learn that the hills have lured them to a gay alien. The cheerleaders land on the planet, as Flesh and Jerkoff flee from the alien, and spot Flesh and Jerkoff hiding in a cave. The alien pokes his genitalia into the cave, and ejaculates inside.

Flesh and Jerkoff slide down the cave, clean up, and find themselves at the “G-Spot” (a milk bar run by voluptuous lactating women, who turn their customers into overgrown babies). A waitress serves Jerkoff and Flesh, though the latter wisely passes. Jerkoff fails to resist the temptation of a barmaid, Bazonga Bomber, who turns Jerkoff into a baby. The cheerleaders catch up with Flesh and Jerkoff at the bar. Robunda and Flesh make amends, and the other three cheerleaders reunite with their boyfriends. Flesh remains determined on rescuing Dale, so Bazonga directs Flesh to the exit of the bar. Jerkoff reverts to an adult, and navigates Flesh and Robunda through the tunnel. The three notice an unpleasant smell, and soon finds its source. The three encounter a tribe of sentient excrements, known as “The Turd People”, who insist the three should join their clan. The Turd People are about to reincarnate the trio into Turds, but Jerkoff repels the Turd People with laxative chewing gum. One of the Turds, revealed to be Bazonga's long-lost father, stays put. Bazonga's father informs the trio that he knows of Dale's whereabouts, and allows them permission to escape on a rocket he built.

Flesh, Jerkoff and Robunda arrive at Evil Presence's palace. Bator tells Presence that he can detect the Virile Force, because Flesh is nearby. Presence nearly throws Dale into a disposal pit, because she refuses to marry him, but Flesh appears in time to rescue her. Presence and Bator detain Flesh, and are about to operate on him, but Robunda's fellow cheerleaders appear in time to prevent this. One of the cheerleaders tries to rid of Bater into the pit, but Flesh spares Bator's life. Flesh then reluctantly accepts Robunda's idea of having sexual intercourse with Queen Frigid, in a bid to stop the ray. Presence becomes horrified to witness this actually happening, resulting in Presence and Flesh fighting. Flesh then discovers that Presence is actually Emperor Wang, Flesh's old arch-enemy. Bator and Frigid, both now sick of Wang's evil ways, begin helping Flesh in stopping the ray. Wang forces Flesh into the pit, but falls in with him. Flesh and Wang land into a spider's web, and a drider emerges. Dale drops a sword down to Flesh, as the drider catches Wang, and Flesh frees himself. Flesh lands to the bottom of the chasm, and retrieves a jewelled chest from a Jewish sentinel. Flesh makes his way out, and presents the chest to Frigid. Flesh releases an oversized condom out of the chest, which Bator applies to the phallic ray-gun.

With the ray stopped, and the universe's virility restored, the group celebrate. Frigid reunites with Homer, her ex-husband, whilst Flesh and Dale reconcile their relationship. Robunda no longer feels the urge of pursuing Flesh, as she finds satisfaction in Jerkoff. The heroes state their need to get home, when Frigid and Homer invite them to their remarriage, so both parties exchange farewells. Wang is seen roaming the palace grounds in humiliation, as the heroes make a return journey to Earth.

Reception[]

Despite gaining a cult following, and selling well on VHS and DVD, the film received very negative reviews from critics.^{[citation needed][1]}

Cast[]

Soundtrack[]

1. Stuck on You Baby - The Groovaholics and Ian McNeil
2. The Hero Always Get the Girl - Bruce Scott
3. The All-American Hero - Rod Knowlan

References[]

External links[]

• Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders at IMDb
• Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders at AllMovie