Ego Is the Enemy

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Ego Is the Enemy

Author	Ryan Holiday
Country	United States
Language	English
Subject	Leadership, personal development, business management, ambition
Genre	Non-fiction, motivational essays
Publisher	Portfolio, Penguin
Publication date	June 14, 2016
Media type	Print (hardcover), ebook
Pages	256
ISBN	978-1-59184-781-6
OCLC	922156056
Dewey Decimal	158.1
LC Class	BJ1474.H635 2016
Preceded by	The Obstacle Is the Way
Website	egoistheenemy.com

Ego Is the Enemy is the fourth book by author Ryan Holiday, published on June 14, 2016.^[1][2] It is about the treacherous nature of ego.^[3][4]

Background[]

Having previously written about external obstacles in his book The Obstacle Is the Way, Holiday sought to answer questions about what to do when the biggest obstacle is internal.^[5] In the prologue of the book, Holiday explains how finding early successes led him to the realization that ego can cloud ambition and hinder personal and professional growth, particularly when accomplishments are tied to self-worth.^[6] He writes that this book does not serve to remind the reader to crush their ego in every aspect of his or her life, but rather to use the book as a reminder to make better decisions and eliminate the ego.^[7]

Holiday had the title of his book tattooed on his forearm as a daily reminder of its message.^[8]

Synopsis[]

Ego Is the Enemy puts forth the argument that often our biggest problems are not caused by external factors such as other people or circumstances. Instead, our problems stem from our own attitude, selfishness and self-absorption. In other words, introducing ego into a situation often prevents us from being rational, objective and clear headed.^[9] The book does not discuss Freud's ego or egotism as a clinical term but rather ego in a colloquial sense, defined as "an unhealthy belief in your own importance."^[10] The book also discusses the difference between ego and confidence, and argues that the solution to the problem of ego is humility, self-awareness, purpose and realism.^[5][11][12] Ego Is the Enemy provides both cautionary tales as well as positive anecdotes about ego, citing numerous historical and contemporary figures including Christopher McCandless, George Marshall, John DeLorean, Larry Page, Paul Graham, Steve Jobs and William Tecumseh Sherman.^{[5][6][13][14]}

Introduction[]

In the introduction of the book, Holiday clarifies what the term ego means and the definition of ego that the book will use.^[7] Overall, Holiday discusses how ego is the enemy in terms of undermining each step an individual takes on their journey. He explains that by believing we are superior, our ego inhibits true success, preventing us from forming a direct connection to the world that we live in. As a result of this separation, we become less open to feedback while seeing and creating less opportunities for ourselves. Holiday then goes to discuss the three stages that he finds people are always trying to discover themselves at—aspiration, success, failure—and writes that at each point, our ego holds us back.^[7] Holiday then goes on to remind the reader that this book is centered around the assumption that the reader should also believe in, which is the assumption that our egos can be directed and controlled. He writes that this lesson can be derived from the individuals that he will mention in the book, such as Jackie Robinson, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Benjamin Franklin – who were able to suppress and channel their ego when it counted. He also warns the reader not to use outliers to rationalize egotistic behaviors, and therefore he writes that he will analyze the lessons learned from Alexander the Great and Xerxes to see how ego can lead to downfall.

Part 1: Aspiration[]

Holiday begins the book by discussing General Sherman, a man that balanced talent and ambition and intensity, leading the military through the invasion in the South and not taking credit or accepting the presidency. He writes that individuals who grow slowly and achieve confidence based on their actual achievements genuinely enjoy success and earn it because it is dependent on their actual achievements. He contracts this to belief in oneself dependent on ego, which is usually accompanied by high rises and deep falls.

Talk, Talk, Talk[]

• Holiday begins the chapter by discussing Upton Sinclair and discusses how in his campaign for the governorship of California, took an unusual step. Before the election, he published a short book titled, "I, Governor of California and How I Ended Poverty", where he outlined, in paste tense, all the policies he had "enacted" during his time which never happened. Sinclair never won, and lost by more than ten percentage points. Holiday discusses the remarks written about Sinclair in his friend Carey McWilliam's book. Holiday uses this story to convey his point: it is easier to talk about doing something than actually getting it done.^[7] Holiday then goes on to discuss that it is at times when we feel overwhelmed or stressed where talking feels therapeutic. However, he writes that it doesn't count as anything but fills the void and uncertainty we feel that is inherently part of the struggle of deep work.^[7]

Become a Student[]

• In this chapter, Holiday discusses how Ryan Hammett, a guitarist, sought out an education under Joe Satriani when he received the opportunity to play in Metallica. Every week they would have lessons together, and Kirk did as Satriani required, coming back for two years for objective feedback. As a result, they both got better.
• The next part of the chapter is where Holiday discusses Frank Shamrock's formula for his fighters, in which he requires the fighters that he trains to have a plus – someone better they can learn from, a minus- someone they can teach, and an equal- someone they can continuously challenge themselves with.

Don't be Passionate[]

• Holiday then goes on to distinguish purpose and passion.
• Holiday then describes characteristics of a deliberate, purposeful person.^[7]

Follow the Canvas Strategy[]

• In this section, Holiday encourages the reader to serve themselves by serving others first.^[7] He gives the example of Bill Belichick, the four-time NFL Super Bowl-winning head coach, discussing how he took his first job without pay and analyzed film. However it was this grunt work gave Bill the insight that allowed to develop strategies.

Restrain Yourself[]

• In this chapter, Holiday discusses how in order to accomplish his goal of becoming the first black player in Major League Baseball, Jackie Robinson had to master restraint and poise which was very opposite of his nature. Holiday discusses how when Branch Rickey, the manager and owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers, scouted Robinson to potentially be the first black player in baseball, Rickey asked Robinson if he had the ability to not fight back. This was important because many people would try to hinder Robinson, so he needed to be strong enough and make sure that his ego would not prevent him from achieving the bigger picture.

Get Out of Your Own Head[]

• Holiday begins the chapter by discussing characters in books and the authors who wrote those characters not being able to get out of their own heads. Holiday writes that sometimes individuals like to live in a passive reality rather than taking actual action.
• Holiday presents Civil War General George McClellan as an example of the archetype of living in passionate fiction. Despite meeting all the criteria on paper of what a great general should be, McClellan maintained the belief that he was wonderful and did not act, which made it impossible to win battles. Holiday uses the example of the General to discuss a misunderstanding that we may have. Sometimes we think that having an ego means having confidence, and that is what we must do to command authority. On the contrary, sometimes having an ego robs us of the ability to find the initiative to act, therefore stagnating our progress.
• Holiday discusses that when we are young or ambitious, or our cause is young and ambitious, it is really easy for us to get excited and swept by our thoughts and feelings, especially in a world that encourages us to romanticize, as well as maintain a personal brand. It becomes performative and we tell stories to sell our work and talents and then forget to put in the work to create our reality.
• For example, Holiday discusses how adolescence is marked by the phenomenon now known as the "imaginary audience", which can be extended to adults, where we feel that we are being watched with rapt attention from the world. He writes that these feelings that we entertain, such as when we walk down the street with our headphones on and feel like we're in a movie, are there to make us feel good rather than make us feel normal; and these feelings trap us inside our heads and prevent us from experiencing the world around us.
• Holiday then states that successful people curb these emotions that place them in a grand scale and rather focus on their lives. He contrasts the example of Civil War General George McCellan with General George C. Marshall. He brings up the fact that against the encouragement of historians and friends, General Marshall refused to keep a war diary during World War II. He worried that it would turn his reflection time into a performative act, and bring a sense of self-deception into his reality. For example, he might second-guess difficult decisions out of concern for his reputation and future readers and warp his thinking based on how they would look.
• Holiday closes off by discussing that while our imagination is an asset, we need to control it, otherwise it might prevent us from being self-aware, hungry for more and from appreciating the present moment. He states, "Living clearly and presently takes courage. Don't live in the haze of the abstract, live with the tangible and real, even if—especially if—it's uncomfortable. Be part of what's going on around you. Feast on it, adjust for it. There's no one to perform for. There is just work to be done and lessons to be learned, in all that is around us." ^[7]

The Danger of Early Pride[]

• Holiday gives the example of Benjamin Franklin and discusses how when pride got to his head during a meeting with Cotton Mather, the town's most respected figure, Mather advised him to remain humble.
• Holiday discusses how in Christianity, pride is viewed as a sin because it is a lie in that it convinces people that they are better than they are, than God made them. Thus, it leads to arrogance and prevents them from connecting with others.
• Holiday then discusses how in order to succeed; we need to be able to use our minds above everything. However, pride hinders our ability to use our mind by preventing us from learning, adapting, being flexible, building relationships and more. Pride also takes our small accomplishments and places them on a pedestal, making a small accomplishment seem grand. He gives various examples and states that pride and ego lead to gratifying label making, and how it is a master encroacher.

Work, Work, Work[]

• Ryan Holiday begins the chapter by discussing for all goals, or in life, there is no end goal. Rather there is continual effort, and continual learning. He states that this is an encouraging idea, because it means that all the things that we would like to accomplish are within reach as long as we have the constitution and humbleness to be patient and the fortitude to put in the work.
• He contrasts this with the concept of the ego, and how it wants the ideas and the fact that we aspire to do something about them to be enough.
• Holiday emphasizes that where we put our energy decides what we will eventually accomplish.
• Holiday poses several questions to the reader which include: Do we love work? Work that may or may not go anywhere, that may be discouraging or painful? Do we love work, making a living to do work, not the other way around? Do we love practice, the way great athletes do? Or do we chase short-term attention and validation- whether that's indulging in the endless search for ideas or simply the distraction of talk and chatter?
• Holiday gives the reader an internal thought to practice when they are sitting down to do work. He writes, "Every time you sit down to do work, remind yourself: I am delaying gratification by doing this. I am passing the marshmallow test. I am earning what my ambition burns for. I am making an investment in myself instead of my ego." ^[7]

For everything that comes next, ego is the enemy...[]

• In this chapter Holiday discusses how ego can seem comforting at the beginning of a process, and then hinder our success in everything that we do.

Part II: Success[]

In this section, Holiday discusses that as success arrives it can toy with our minds and weaken the will that made us win in the first place. He discusses that because success can give us a euphoric feel and inflate our egos, we must practice staying away from the ego and the feelings that come with it. He discusses that we need to make ourselves smaller, refrain from the narratives that the outside world tells us, and create a world for ourselves that surrounds the work rather than our egos.

Always Stay A Student[]

• Holiday uses the example of the Mongol Empire and its openness to learning to discuss the idea that as we undergo our first few successes, we have to be able to navigate new situations and new problems. But along with each victory and advancement, comes a new area and situation that one has not encountered before. During that time it is crucial to understand that you know less and grasp more.
• Therefore, Holiday discusses that with accomplishment, there is a growing pressure to pretend to know more. He discusses that this is a worry and a risk to think that we are set and secure when there is no endpoint to learning.
• He discusses how humble people refrain from standing in their own way, because they consistently observe d listen. Therefore, they are open to information and learning and consistently improve. To add another layer to this, Holiday encourages the reader to not just be a student at the beginning, but rather learn from everyone and everything.
• He discusses that at each point in the process, there is something to be learned. Even if the lesson is remedial, we shouldn't allow our egos to block us from hearing it again.
• Holiday discusses that too often we stay in a comfort zone that ensures that we never feel stupid, or are never challenged to reconsider what we know. This takes a silent toll on us and prevents us from learning. Holiday offers us the solution which is to purposely subject ourselves to areas of discomfort so that we can grow.

Don't Tell Yourself a Story[]

• Holiday discusses how in order to change the fate of the 49ers; Coach Walsh instilled a standard of excellence for the football team. The standard of excellence imposed on players as well as coaches was part of Walsh's theory that if the team perfected the details, scores would follow. While Walsh was strong and confident in his plan to know that it would pay off, he was humble to know that when the results would manifest was not under his control.
• Holiday discusses how crafting stories out of past events is a very human impulse but not a good one. He discusses how through this storytelling; we edit out the truths and the hardships that are authentic.
• Holiday also discusses that after early success, the 49ers only went back to the Super Bowl after returning to the Standard of Performance. He uses this as an example to illustrate the point that after being successful, it is imperative at that moment (of being on the top) to remain humble. He discusses that this is relevant because the stakes are higher, and the margins for error are smaller which means we must be able to listen, accept feedback and open to learning how to improve.
• "When we are aspiring we must resist the impulse to reverse engineer success from other people's stories. When we achieve our own, we must resist the desire to pretend that everything unfolded exactly as we'd planned. There was no grand narrative. You should remember- you were there when it happened."^[7]
• Holiday ends the chapter by discussing to the reader that we must not pretend that we are living some great story but execute and put in the work.

What's Important to You?[]

• Holiday gives the example of the paths of Grant versus Sherman after winning the Civil War to remark on the nature of individuals to remain dissatisfied with what we receive. He discusses that at the beginning of a journey we are very aware of what we want but then once we achieve it, we lose sight of our priorities.
• Holiday comments that as people we tend to say "yes" rather than "no", because we believe that saying yes will make us accomplish more but in reality, it stops us from achieving our true goal. Holiday argues that the reason why we agree to doing things that we don't like to seek the approval of individuals we are not fond of is because after accomplishing something we meet new people who make us feel insignificant. Even if different people are doing things for different reasons, we unconsciously try to remain on the same level.
• While competitiveness can be a positive force, it is good only when the individual is in the right space of competition and have a true purpose for being in that spot.
• Holiday makes the point that only an individual knows the path that he or she is on, and each individual has a unique potential and power. This means that only the individual can evaluate and set the terms of his or her lives. Holiday brings up the word eutheymia which is the sense that we have of our own path and the ability to stay on it without getting distracted. Euthymia is about doing the best that you can on your path and accomplishing exactly however much you set out to do.
• Holiday ends the discussion by discussing how in order to accomplish goals that we seek to accomplish, we have to make trade-offs. Ego prevents us from making these trade-offs and prevents us from being loyal to our purpose because it clouds us with obligations and activities that we brought on to soothe it.

Entitlement, Control, and Paranoia[]

• In this section, Holiday discusses how the same things that lead to success must now be controlled such as the certainty and the risk-taking that led to the success in the first place.
• Holiday mentions various historical figures: Persian Empire Xerxes, Richard Nixon, and Jefferson Davis to illustrate the excessive ego and how it was harmful.
• "A smart man or woman must regularly remind themselves of the limits of their power and reach." ^[7]
• Holiday discusses the nature of entitlement, control and paranoia. He discusses how entitlement can convince an individual that he or she has earned something. He discusses that control says that even the slightest of things must be done in a certain way and manifests itself as paralyzing perfectionism. Paranoia convinces an individual that he or she is alone, smarter than everyone but at the same time be one step ahead of everyone.

Managing Yourself[]

• Holiday uses the example of Eisenhower to illustrate the point that when we are aspiring or small, we can afford to be idiosyncratic and compensate for disorganization with hard work and a little luck. Holiday discusses that as we move up the ladder, we need to organize because up there, it won't slide. He contrasts the example of Eisenhower with the example of Delorean. DeLorean failed as a car company because he created a culture where there wasn't an emphasis on concepts such as discipline, organization or strategic planning. Holiday discusses that the DeLorean Motor Company failed despite DeLorean's talents and creativity due to ego and disorganization.
• Holiday discusses how there is no "right" system for success but there is a kind of system that works optimally for specific goals. The message that matters is that we need to learn to manage ourselves and then our organizations. And as we move up and increase our responsibilities, we must make readjustments that give us greater clarity and purpose.
• Holiday leaves the reader with two steps on managing themselves: Firstly, to set top-level goals and priorities of the organization and life. Secondly, to produce results.

Beware of the Disease of Me[]

• Holiday uses the example of the "Disease of Me" which is a term coined by Pat Riley, famous manager of the Los Angeles Lakers and Miami Heat to describe the ego that forms after victory.
• Holiday uses the example of General Marshall of the U.S. Army and how he repeatedly passed the need to get recognition to discuss the difference between ego and confidence. He writes, "Ego needs honors in order to be validated. Confidence, on the other hand, is able to wait and focus on the task at hand regardless of external recognition." ^[7]

Meditate on the Immensity[]

• In this chapter Holiday urges the reader to leave the hustle and bustle of the world. He argues that creativity comes from receptiveness and recognition which can only occur in an environment of stillness.

Reception[]

Ego Is the Enemy has received generally positive reviews, with Outside Magazine commenting, "Holiday takes philosophy out of the ivory towers and translates often-dense concepts into actionable insights."^[15][16] The book was featured in the NPR Book Concierge Guide To 2016's Great Reads.^[17]

In the weeks after its release, the book was listed by Inc. as one of the must-read business books that summer.^[18] The book went on to achieve bestseller status lists by USA Today, Chicago Tribune, and Publishers Weekly.^[19][20][21]

References[]

External links[]

• Official website